Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
