Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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