Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
