Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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