Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
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