i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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