Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Randomize
