You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I just had sex on a roof
Randomize
