I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
