Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
