I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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