How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
