Having a random hookup so left but love u
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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