Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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