Those balls look pretty dangerous.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
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