I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
