It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
