dude i'm inner monologue high
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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