you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
