"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
