He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
