What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
