Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
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