I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
