highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
what the fuck happened to the tacos
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
