You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize