i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
