Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
