So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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