what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
