then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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