I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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