Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
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