Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Randomize
