My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
You took a bar mat shot.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Randomize
