I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
