i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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