So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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