shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
