Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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