They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
