he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
