Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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