Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
