Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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