I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
