He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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