Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
