So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
