Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
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